Getting Back to Law

I'm going to start studying for the california state bar exam. Its in February 2010. Why? There may be more job options for me in my field. Tomorrow, I'm going to finish something else I've started (hopefully) and hopefully it will all go well. I need to find the right choice. The right path. I know I've been lost lately -- not writing in this journal, not chanting as much as I should -- but I know that I will eventually get to where I need to be. I will just keep on chanting. Fighting, Praying.

There is something for me out there. I just need to maintain my faith that what needs to happen, will.

No Responses or Sharing?

Its okay, I understand. Sometimes, it can be very difficult to share a personal experience.
I am continuing to chant. Today, I upped my chanting a little more. I've been feeling restless and out of sorts.

My FI applied to a position he's been wanting for awhile. He said its a "rare opportunity" this opportunity means I will have to leave behind things I've been working on here and I'm not sure I want to do this. I am chanting for success. I'm not sure where my life is headed, I will continue on with what I am doing and pray for the future.

I place my faith and my future in my chanting. Of course, I will continue to work towards my goal and will not rely on faith alone, but I know faith will be the deciding factor.

Finding Inspiration In Others

I have been chanting less lately and it makes me feel empty. I know I should chant more to reach my goals, but I have been feeling very lost lately. Has anyone else felt like this? I know many people have come to this blog for encouragement in finding a job -- to know that chanting will help them in these difficult times. I, too, would like to find people who can give some encouragement. Is anyone out there who can also share their story to provide us comfort and encouragement? If there is, please send the story to chantingexperiences@gmail.com and let me know if I can post it here on my blog.

Thank you,
Me

Finding my path

I haven't written in this journal for two months. This seems to be a monthly blog. A lot of things have happened...

• The love of my life asked me to marry him. I said yes. 
• I have been working on starting a lawfirm, but I just interviewed with a company I have been wanting to work with for a long time. 
• I am stressed out about money/job and do not know if i can go another few months without income. 

My SO has been supportive of whatever I want to do, but I am caught. What do I want to do? I want to help people, but I also need to find a way to support myself. It seems that no matter what happens, when things look up there are other things pulling me back down. 

I am chanting now for a clear path. That the path that will help me  (and others) will open before me and it will be an easy step to take. I hope things work out soon.

Disgusted by Racism/Sexism

Its been a while since I posted, but I wanted to make a little post about what I've encountered on my quest for a job. I went to a meeting, and, at first, was treated very nicely. As the meeting went on, there were comments made which were less than nice. such as, you should just get married or I would hate to be you etc etc.

What I realized is, even the most well-meaning people can screw up once in a while and hurt other's feelings. Or maybe I just need to develop a thicker skin. My newest quest is to chant for racist/sexist people. I will chant that their eyes will be opened and they will realize they are creating more harm than good.

Although I may not be able to change everyone's thoughts, I know that through my actions and through my chanting, I can at least help change one person for the better.

Still Looking for a job

Hai Everyone, So... I'm still chanting and searching for a job. I've decided, since I want to help people, that i should start my own law firm! I am searching for attorneys to help me in this endeavor :) as always, i will keep everyone in my chanting and will keep you updated as things unfold.

Searching for inspiration....

Yesterday, as I was walking to the restroom, I found a child's toy. I stopped and asked the people closest to me if it was theirs. The reaction was horrible. They were so mean to me as if I was giving them poison. So, I was about to show it to give it to the other woman who was at the area and those people shushed me and sent me away. I left the child's toy on the table. Hoping that a happy child would find it.

This angered me. I could not believe they treated me so badly when I only wanted to help. Is this why no one helps another person out? When you try to help, you are slapped in the face and sent away? I was upset for a very long time. Brooding over this. Then, I realized, that this experience only shows me that *I* should be grateful when others help *me*. By setting an example and being gracious when I am helped by others or by helping others despite this horrible experience, I hope to set a good example. To set a chain of events that will help change the mindset of others because I know that *I* search for inspiration from others. Do you also? When I hear the stories of other people and how they have persevered and conquered, it makes me happy. I smile when I think of the experiences of others. It reminds me that I, too, will be able to conquer all.

When I hear about others who have helped people and when others are happy when I help them, I am inspired to help more.

Let's be gracious and helpful. If someone treats us meanly after we try to help them let's "turn the other cheek" if someone helps *us* let us be gracious and accepting without wondering who in their right mind would ever want to be helpful.

How the economy has affected me

We are all experiencing an economic crisis that is affecting the way we think and the way that we act. American society has been humbled as a whole by the economic crisis. It is not a good thing, but as they say "turn poison into medicine." I was scared when I graduated from law school without being offered a job, but because I wasn't, I was able to start finding myself again. To start understanding what I really need.

This year of contract work and uncertainty has been eye opening for me and humbling. I understand what it is like to be out of work. To not be able to find a job. I understand a little bit more what other Americans are feeling and I feel blessed that I am able to to do this.

I believe the economy will get better -- that things will eventually work out, but we must continue chanting. Through our daily prayers and our constant striving, we will make this country better than ever because now Americans can empathize with each thos e less fortunate than themselves. In order to get out of this crisis, we must all begin working together and being thankful for the things we have now while still striving for the security that we need.

Found a job... :)

For everyone who has been keeping up with my journal and chanting for me. Thank you, it definitely helped. I was offered a contract position yesterday. Now, as we all know, contract positions may not last long. Last time, I was laid off due to economic circumstances. This time, well, the contract is "up to 6 months". I had three other potential offers that paid more yesterday, but, since this came in first, I chose to work with this one.

Here's an interesting set of circumstances. The night before I was offered a position, before I went to sleep, I was chanting that the right job will give me an offer first and, if it wasn't the right job, that they would not offer it to me or, I would already be working for another company. Curiously enough, the lowest paying position was the position that was offered right after I finished chanting.

Weird? Maybe. So, I chanted again because, although I was excited about this position, I was worried about my student loans. I will have only a little bit of money left over from my student loans. Definitely not enough to live off of. So, I am chanting that they will rescind the offer if this isn't the best job for me and another one, one that I spoke with yesterday, will offer me a position.

I have to say though... I know that chanting will bring the best outcome and I have total faith that this position is the best position out there for me. I just will probably have to get a second job :)

I would never have gotten this position without chanting and I am completely grateful that this happened.

To all of you reading this journal and are looking for a job, never lose hope. Continue your gongyo and daimoku. Chanting nam myoho renge kyo will help you find the right position.

More Trouble Ahead

One of my best friend's is getting married. Yay! I'm excited.

But the flights are extremely expensive. I need a job. I'm chanting to get a job to pay off these crazy bills that keep adding up.

I just need to keep believing things will get better. I just need to keep chanting and having faith.

Hopefully, I can get a job soon and people will be inspired to chant because they will see the struggles I've been through and will realize that chanting will get them to where they want to be.

Better Today

I'm feeling better today. I woke up. I chanted. I took my dog for a walk. Then chanted some more. I'm getting a routine down.

I chant. I cry. I chant some more. I have been having more interviews lately. I think this is because of all the chanting I've been doing. Sincere chanting will always help you in the end.

I know I've been upset. I know that this blog is not inspirational right now as I've been struggling and things don't appear to be getting any better. But... I have faith. I have faith that these things will pass and my life will be better for it.

I am hoping that this delay in a large event in our lives, will bring my SO and I closer. That by struggling together through this period, we learn a little more about ourselves and each other. I know that this period of unemployment and hopelessness is only to help me be that much happier when things finally do start to do well. That I won't take for granted my relationship, my health, and my job.

I know that this period is helping me to be a better person. To learn more about me and how I handle stress and disorder.

I chant that I take this lesson and learn from it instead of being spiteful. I chant that these lessons I learn and the problems I face will inspire people because they will know that they are not the only ones going through this.

My life will get better. I have faith that it will. I just have to chant and be patient and appreciate the small things I do have.

More Job Hunting... More Chanting... More Waiting

I've been applying to a lot of jobs lately. I've been applying to places that aren't even looking -- with this economy, it does not look like my job hunt will be over any time soon. The problem is, I have student loans coming up and bills I have to pay. I can't live off my parents or my SO forever. I need to find something soon.

I hate to admit, but I'm slowly beginning to lose faith. I'd like to say that I am unwavering in my chanting and belief that something good will soon happen, but its been a while since I was laid off and there is nothing in the horizon. In fact, things are only getting increasingly worse. Due to my job loss things that would have happened already have been put off till a better time. I know there are a lot of people in the same boat as me, but I need something soon. I keep waiting and waiting and chanting and waiting and nothing seems to happen.

I will continue chanting and letting you all know how things are going, but right now, I am just at a loss. I need a job and some income soon.

I am chanting that I will receive an interview and a job offer by the end of this week. Please chant for me.

Deleting the past...

I deleted my myspace today. I was attached to it and was keeping it for old times sake, but, then, I realized what old times was i holding onto? What could I get from Myspace that i didn't already have? I have friends.

I have been chanting for closure to my past and for the ability to get away from it all. I realize now I will not ever be able to have closure until I actually *close* it myself and take those first few steps. I am ready to move on now. Ready to be a better person, and a grown up. I no longer need a myspace to communicate to my true friends. They will communicate with me. i do not need a myspace to make me feel popular or happy. Because, honestly, it wasn't doing that at all. It was making me self conscious and scared. I'm ready now.

I'm ready to take the first step to a better life. Ready to start healing some old and festered wounds.

Deeper into the storm

I've been chanting more lately. I try to clear my mind and just chant because I dont want to be selfish when i'm chanting. I don't want to just be chanting about myself. In essence, I chant that this economic crisis will abate and that millions of people will find jobs that they lost and those that still have them won't lose them.

Needless to say, I'm worried that we'll end up in a great depression. In fact, not just might, probably will. Anyone out there have any stories they'd like to share about getting laid off and how they are handling the situation? Are you chanting also? If you would like to share your story on my blog please email me at katanainhawaii@gmail.com.

I will post your story in an entry. Now is the time to start gaining home from each other and faith -- we need stories of hope and success in these harsh economic times. I know that those stories are out there and I can't wait to hear them.

In the mean time, I will continue chanting for you, myself, and the rest of the world that we are not hit too hard.

Its always darkest before the light -- let's support each other through this.

Still job searching...

~When one door closes, another one opens~

I remind myself of this saying constantly. Because it is the ending of another year, I thought I'd recap my year for all of you who have just started reading my journal.

In this past year, I

1. Left a 3 and a half year ill fated relationship (even though we were engaged and were planning our wedding)
   
2. Met my soul mate
3. Graduated from law school despite all adversity
4. Passed the bar
5. Moved out of Oregon
   
6. Found my passion in life -- creative writing and working with people
7. Had my poem published in a magazine, had a short story featured on storymash.com, and helped my friend create her marketing campaigns
   
8. Continued chanting

In essence, I have had a lot of changes in my life. Through it all, I continued my chanting and beliefs that if I left my fate in the hands of faith everything would work out. Although i have not yet found a job, i believe I am closer to finding one that fits me. Weeding out the not so good jobs that don't fit me is good because I want to find a job I can make a career out of.

I chant to find that perfect job every day. I know that in this economic crisis I should just be chanting for a job, but I want one that I will enjoy and can stay at for a long time. I won't settle and, I believe, with chanting I won't have to because as long as I continue with my faith I know I will be protected.

Finding my way through chanting

Chanting can help you find paths you didn't think you were ready for. I have been chanting to find a job that suits me, but also to find peace within myself. I find that I can be hard to live with with set on a task. I get caught up in things and concentrate. My poor bf has to find ways to "snap" me out of it to feed him.

I've slowly been finding my love of cooking again. I love to cook. Its relaxing and it helps me think about what I have done and what I will do. I can also chant while I cook-- something I do often.

You shouldn't chant just when you need something. You should chant when you're happy, sad, relaxed, or playing. Chanting can help make peaceful settings even more peaceful.

I am often very stressed, especially since I am not working right now and student loan payments are coming up, but chanting helps me alleviates stress. It helps me because I know that chanting is a proactive way of taking control of my life. Sure, I also have to send out the job applications and continue working hard on my resumes, but for the aspects of the application process I have no control over I can chant that the jobs that are meant for me will call me back and those that are not right for me will send me a message that I am not right for the job.

Chanting relieves my stress because through chanting, I know that the best outcome possible is soon to come.

Happy about Adversity?

Sorry, its been awhile. Again, I think, maybe, I'll make this a monthly blog. Anyway, my internship ended early because of the economic financial crisis. At first, I was caught in a "what am I going to do?" feeling, but now, I realize this is my chance to pursue my dreams. The internship was great. I highly enjoyed it, I got a lot of experience, and I met a lot of fun people, but I have realized I want to follow my passion.

I want to write. Not just any writing, but creative fun and vibrant writing. I want a position that allows me to use my creativity to its fullest and allows me to interact with different types of people on a daily basis. I got a taste of this at my internship, but I know there are other positions that could fit this description better. I'm not worried.

I was driving to drop off my bar licensing fee to the post office today when I realized that I enjoy these short bouts of adversity -- they keep me on my toes and remind me that I have to work harder and not just settle for anything.

I find that, now that I am not working at the internship, I have more things to do. I am working on creating my own company, helping a music artist create her internet press kit and branding, and searching for jobs. Every day brings a new surprise and with every surprise, I learn a little more about myself.

I chant harder that I will find a job that fits me and fulfills all my requirements. The newest problems are a launching pad for better things to come -- and I will face these problems head on.

Has anyone out there been laid off, too? Has the economic crisis affected you also? Please comment and I will include you in my nightly chanting. Things will get better, with every day that passes, have faith in nam myoho renge kyo, continue chanting, actively pursuing your goals, and you will begin to see your life unfold in ways you could only hope for.

Happiness in the world

There is no true happiness other than upholding faith in the Lotus Sutra. This is what is meant by "peace and security in their present existence and good circumstances in future existences." Though worldly troubles may arise, never let them disturb you. No one can avoid problems, not even sages or worthies. - The Writings of Nichiren Daishonin

I enjoy this passage because it is very true. I am constantly worried about something. I am always on the go. I never have time to sit and think about passages anymore. I decided it was time to slow time. Take my time. Where is the rush?

I have received many blessings from chanting Nam Myoho Renge Kyo. Most notably, I have finished law school, passed the bar, and found a job I enjoy. The law continues to goad me; never letting me turn my back on what is necessary and correct. I continue to stress about things I can't change, but these are problems, as the passage states, that cannot be avoided.

Chanting is the only way to relieve stress and solve problems. Chanting helps delve into your innermost desires and search for what you really need, rather than what you think you want. We all may trip along the way. We might make mistakes and say the wrong things. The lesson is in these mistakes. By making mistakes, we make ourselves better by finding ourselves returning to chant Nam Myoho Renge Kyo.

How many times have you found yourself scared, stressed, or depressed? In those times have you chanted? I have. I have encountered these times frequently in my journey through law school and life. Prior to chanting Nam Myoho Renge Kyo, I did not believe things would get better. Now, by chanting Nam Myoho Renge Kyo, I have found my purpose.

Yay!!! I passed!!!

So, I just thought I'd tell you all that I passed the bar. Considering this past year, and the trials I faced to get here, I'm very surprised I passed. Grateful actually. I know that I would never have been able to pass without daimoku. I did not study. Instead, I focused on chanting and clearing my head for the test. It was a gamble, but I needed to do it. I trusted in the gohonzon and myself that I was making the right choice. Sometimes, you can't prepare for what life will bring you. Sometimes, you have to give yourself up and say," I'll let it go." I'll admit I like control. I like structure. I hate not knowing my future - the unknown is the worst for me. But in my darkest hours, in the times when I have nowhere to turn, I chant and I release my control to fate. It is at those times I feel the most in tune with myself and my future. I am no longer requesting something for myself, but letting fate carry me to where I need to be.

I chant about ten minutes to an hour a day still. I know I have not been keeping up with my blog, I'm sorry, but currently I have two jobs. I am working as an intern at a software company, like I stated in my last blog, and as an intern at a music marketing company. Also, I am managing my friends ads and gigs in Hawaii. After all of that, I just started with a trainer. I'm very excited about this. I've gained a lot of weight since I moved to the mainland. My dad said it was stress. I guess it was, but now I am back on track. I am working out five times a week and minding my carbs. For a while, I cut out the meat, because I objected to the treatment of animals. However, I have slowly incorporated it back into my diet. I still only eat organic, grain fed, free range meat. Expensive. I know. But if I can't afford it I just will go back to tofu. I prefer it anyway.

I hope my post finds all you readers in good health. As always, please let me know if you want me to include you in my nightly chanting.

Finally found a job.

After searching for months and logging in many hours of daimoku I finally found a job. I have to say, though, that this job may be just what I've been looking for. I know, I'm sorry again everyone I have not been keeping up with this blog as I should, but I reached that place of unemployed depression that has been driving me nuts.

I have decided to try my hand at advertising. In college I had wanted to go into advertising, but did not think I would be able to break into it so I went to law school. Three years down the line, my interest and desire won out. I wanted to find a position that would use my creative ability and allow me to be my own person. How would I find such a position?

What I reminded myself multiple times for the past few months is that there is a plan for me. If I chanted faithfully, I would find it. I am starting an internship in software marketing soon and I am very excited about it. I will let you all know how it is going. Now that i dont have to spend every waking moment searching for a job and, instead, every waking moment worrying about doing well at my job, I will have more time to blog about the complexities of advertising and how chanting will help me overcome the adversity.