Realizations...

When life gets difficult, chant more and help others, including yourself. This may seem very simple and you may be wondering why others? Shouldn't I help myself first before I can help others?

Yes and no. Helping others will help you understand your situation better. It will also help you feel better about yourself. Knowing that you have helped make a difference in someone else's life can help you understand that you are not hopeless.

I fell into this trap. For a while, I have been working at the best job ever, unfortunately, I don't have much left over for anything else. My SO is so patient with me and continues to help me get through these trying times. I have been searching for a job, but have been unable to find the one I want.

Since I was unable to find what I wanted, I decided to create my own opportunities. I am currently looking into creating my own law firm and am working with the Northwest Immigration Rights Project.

The stories of the clients who come for help inspire me every day. My suffering is nothing next to the persecution, torture, and pain they have been through and I seek to help relieve that through helping them stay in our country away from these problems.

In doing this, I found that I am making a difference in someone else's life. It is making me feel empowered with the knowledge that this difference could save them. I enjoy the feeling. I enjoy knowing that I can possibly help them change their life. Even though it is for free, it is something I needed to do. Even if there is no thank you, knowing that I have helped someone make a better life for themselves and helping them relieve their tears is enough for me. It gives me strength to continue on this long journey.

I have had some questions about how I chant. I chant Nam Myoho Renge Kyo with my whole heart. I chant with purpose to change the my life and the lives of others for the better.

If you ever stumble along the way, please reach out to me. I will try to help put you back on your path.

Yay!!! I passed!!!

So, I just thought I'd tell you all that I passed the bar. Considering this past year, and the trials I faced to get here, I'm very surprised I passed. Grateful actually. I know that I would never have been able to pass without daimoku. I did not study. Instead, I focused on chanting and clearing my head for the test. It was a gamble, but I needed to do it. I trusted in the gohonzon and myself that I was making the right choice. Sometimes, you can't prepare for what life will bring you. Sometimes, you have to give yourself up and say," I'll let it go." I'll admit I like control. I like structure. I hate not knowing my future - the unknown is the worst for me. But in my darkest hours, in the times when I have nowhere to turn, I chant and I release my control to fate. It is at those times I feel the most in tune with myself and my future. I am no longer requesting something for myself, but letting fate carry me to where I need to be.

I chant about ten minutes to an hour a day still. I know I have not been keeping up with my blog, I'm sorry, but currently I have two jobs. I am working as an intern at a software company, like I stated in my last blog, and as an intern at a music marketing company. Also, I am managing my friends ads and gigs in Hawaii. After all of that, I just started with a trainer. I'm very excited about this. I've gained a lot of weight since I moved to the mainland. My dad said it was stress. I guess it was, but now I am back on track. I am working out five times a week and minding my carbs. For a while, I cut out the meat, because I objected to the treatment of animals. However, I have slowly incorporated it back into my diet. I still only eat organic, grain fed, free range meat. Expensive. I know. But if I can't afford it I just will go back to tofu. I prefer it anyway.

I hope my post finds all you readers in good health. As always, please let me know if you want me to include you in my nightly chanting.