Finding my path

I haven't written in this journal for two months. This seems to be a monthly blog. A lot of things have happened...

• The love of my life asked me to marry him. I said yes. 
• I have been working on starting a lawfirm, but I just interviewed with a company I have been wanting to work with for a long time. 
• I am stressed out about money/job and do not know if i can go another few months without income. 

My SO has been supportive of whatever I want to do, but I am caught. What do I want to do? I want to help people, but I also need to find a way to support myself. It seems that no matter what happens, when things look up there are other things pulling me back down. 

I am chanting now for a clear path. That the path that will help me  (and others) will open before me and it will be an easy step to take. I hope things work out soon.

Realizations...

When life gets difficult, chant more and help others, including yourself. This may seem very simple and you may be wondering why others? Shouldn't I help myself first before I can help others?

Yes and no. Helping others will help you understand your situation better. It will also help you feel better about yourself. Knowing that you have helped make a difference in someone else's life can help you understand that you are not hopeless.

I fell into this trap. For a while, I have been working at the best job ever, unfortunately, I don't have much left over for anything else. My SO is so patient with me and continues to help me get through these trying times. I have been searching for a job, but have been unable to find the one I want.

Since I was unable to find what I wanted, I decided to create my own opportunities. I am currently looking into creating my own law firm and am working with the Northwest Immigration Rights Project.

The stories of the clients who come for help inspire me every day. My suffering is nothing next to the persecution, torture, and pain they have been through and I seek to help relieve that through helping them stay in our country away from these problems.

In doing this, I found that I am making a difference in someone else's life. It is making me feel empowered with the knowledge that this difference could save them. I enjoy the feeling. I enjoy knowing that I can possibly help them change their life. Even though it is for free, it is something I needed to do. Even if there is no thank you, knowing that I have helped someone make a better life for themselves and helping them relieve their tears is enough for me. It gives me strength to continue on this long journey.

I have had some questions about how I chant. I chant Nam Myoho Renge Kyo with my whole heart. I chant with purpose to change the my life and the lives of others for the better.

If you ever stumble along the way, please reach out to me. I will try to help put you back on your path.

Searching for inspiration....

Yesterday, as I was walking to the restroom, I found a child's toy. I stopped and asked the people closest to me if it was theirs. The reaction was horrible. They were so mean to me as if I was giving them poison. So, I was about to show it to give it to the other woman who was at the area and those people shushed me and sent me away. I left the child's toy on the table. Hoping that a happy child would find it.

This angered me. I could not believe they treated me so badly when I only wanted to help. Is this why no one helps another person out? When you try to help, you are slapped in the face and sent away? I was upset for a very long time. Brooding over this. Then, I realized, that this experience only shows me that *I* should be grateful when others help *me*. By setting an example and being gracious when I am helped by others or by helping others despite this horrible experience, I hope to set a good example. To set a chain of events that will help change the mindset of others because I know that *I* search for inspiration from others. Do you also? When I hear the stories of other people and how they have persevered and conquered, it makes me happy. I smile when I think of the experiences of others. It reminds me that I, too, will be able to conquer all.

When I hear about others who have helped people and when others are happy when I help them, I am inspired to help more.

Let's be gracious and helpful. If someone treats us meanly after we try to help them let's "turn the other cheek" if someone helps *us* let us be gracious and accepting without wondering who in their right mind would ever want to be helpful.